ConFuse,Sadness,Alone

Haiz..............september already......My SPM test is start already........CAN i Pass it.............I no confident at all........why....can somebody tell me why?
Why I feel so scare...Alone.....and angry to myself.......Am i try my best already......Am i......No one will answer....Just myself will answer this question.......Am i Right?
NO one will truely understand me......Friends...... include my Family......They will not try to understand me....Are they?....the answer is No.......Sometime i think that.....am i better be a single or what.....i am so confuse....They always say that i have a better life then the other people......tell me that dont think so much....because i lucky then other person...but.......they all dont know that what i truely want.....No at all.....i know i lucky but what for lucky.....but no happy......this still call lucky?......i just want a happy life....that also so hard?
'S'......She is a clever,beautiful,and active person...........when i NO mood or sad.....She is the one that i always tell to............because I LOVE S........but am i have the "HAK" to love him.....can i give she a better life......i keep asking myself...Am i.....I feel so SORRY to 'S'........sorry.....the only word that i can say jus a sorry....sorry...I am very sorry...........
Maybe i more "sesuai" to be Alone....just myself....only this way can make everybody happy....i just will bring sadness to everboy.....Without me everybody will happy......Am i right?
NO Thomas no sadness to my friends and my family.......AND my "S"
Thank you "S"